Monday, November 30, 2009

It's not the snow, it's the assholes.

And so it has begun. Wednesday 11/25 marked the beginning of a month of you all hearing me bitch about the lights. If I throw my hat into the "War on Christmas" ring this year, it will be solely prompted by the blasted Christmas lights. What a bloody waste of time, money, energy and resources... But if you want to Griswold your house up for one month of the year, fine. Have at. It doesn't really affect anyone else. Except that, oh wait, it does! And it's not your lights and it's not your holidays or your Christianity or any of that. No, it's the assholes.
You like to drive around and look at lights? Great. But when you do, could you possibly try to remember that you are driving? On a street? You know, where other people might be driving?! Yeah, I'm just suggesting that you might want to keep an eye on the road instead of both eyes on the lights. That way, you don't have to slam on your breaks and hammer your horn and glare and flip the bird at people who are just trying to get home and might be expecting you to pay attention to your driving. Good? K, thx.

And today, Monday 11/30, we had our first spotting of snow flakes here at work -accompanied by the first grumblings and bitchings about said snow, even though it's practically December, people! And we live in upstate New York. It's supposed to be snowing! And to be fair, snow is pretty. See, it's not the snow that bothers me. It's supposed to snow during the winter. It's not the cold. I have cold weather gear. It's not the potential for storms and power outages -see, I know what to expect from a Rochester winter and I have a snow brush and shovel, we have a generator, we have emergency food and water. No, it's none of those things that bother me during the winter. Once again, it's the assholes.
You know you live in upstate New York, right? You know it's going to snow, right? It does it EVERY year. So can you explain to me why the first snowfall of the year makes you drive like you've never seen snow before? Come on, people, if you can't drive in the snow then get off the road! And is it really appropriate to stock up the day before a big storm is predicted? Wouldn't it maybe make more sense to already have your supplies on hand? And maybe could you quit bitching about the weather that is the same every damn year, and just try to appreciate the beauty of the turning of the year? Maybe just a little?

Also, you know, Christmas. The war on it and all that. I'm an atheist, but I don't get all pissy and offended when people choose to celebrate Christmas or when they wish me a 'merry Christmas.' What does bother me, unsurprisingly, is the assholes. The people who think it's their business what holiday anyone else celebrates (or doesn't), the people who flat-out say that everyone should be a Christian and misunderstand the entire origin of the holiday, the country and the Constitution... Guess what, folks? It's pagan! They're secular! So, shut up and celebrate in your own way, already, and I'll celebrate in mine.
Celebrate your holiday any way you want, with all the lights and presents* and hypocrisy* you want. Have at. Just don't be an asshole about it. Hmm?

In conclusion, dear readers, do me a favor this season and don't be an asshole. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to beat you.

*another topic for another post

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