Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Lent Blog, 2012

Lent only comes once a year, and for me it is the most wonderful time of the year. Because nothing says you care like hypocrisy, and nothing says disrespect like mockery, I spend the 40-odd days between Mardi Gras and Easter stuffing my face full of every kind of meat I've been craving the whole rest of the year. Ethics be damned. I'll be back off factory-farmed meat when Jesus rolls out of his cave (that's how that works, right?), but in the meantime let's work my way through my catalog of carnage...

2/22 Agatina's: pasta platter special (gnocchi, ravioli, lasagna, meatball)
2/24 Rookie's: giant rare cheeseburger, with red onions and lettuce. and salad.
3/2 Jim & Ralph's: cheeseburger, with lettuce, onions, ketchup, mustard. and fries.
3/2 Rookie's: BBQ bacon cheeseburger wrap (tomatoes, bacon, onion, lettuce, cheddar jack cheese -NO jalapenos)
3/3 The (original) Crab Shack: Surf & Turf (ribeye steak with bacon-wrapped mango scallops, plus corn bread, salt potatoes, and corn on the cob)
3/5 Wegmans' bacon cheddar burger (served with cheesy mashed potatoes)
3/7 Martino's: Wing Wednesday! All You Can Eat! Plus cheesy bread! My record (set down in 2011) is 24 wings, though this time I only managed 20. I did tuck away six slices of cheesy bread, though, too.
3/9 Rookie's: Dugout Platter (two hot dogs over fries and mac salad -no onions or hot sauce, though!)
3/10 Panera: Asiago Roast Beef sandwich (oven-roasted beef, smoked cheddar, lettuce, red onions, creamy horseradish sauce, on Asiago cheese bread -hold the tomatoes!) and broccoli cheddar soup
3/10 Martino's: meatball sub and garlic parmesan chicken wings
3/11 McDonald's McGangBang (McChicken inside of a McDouble, with a large fry of course
3/12 Ballpark hot dogs with bacon and American cheese
3/14 Rohrbach's: pastrami sandwich (tasty, but a little overpowered by the rye bread -and by the bitch and the bar)
3/15 corned beef wrap (served at the company lunch, from Palermo's)
3/15 Rookie's cheeseburger quesadilla (ground sirloin, tomatoes, onions, shredded cheddar jack cheeses -hold the jalapenos)
3/21 California Rollin': all-you-can-eat sushi (chef's choice. I got 32 rolls, eight each of tuna, whitefish, crab, shrimp. not sure what their fancy names are.)
3/26 Ballpark hotdogs with bacon and melted emmentaller cheese
3/28 Skylark Lounge: BBQ pork balls with a side of deep fried mashed potato balls
The Skylark Lounge is located where Muther's used to be, on Union Street in Rochester NY. They have live music and lots of liquor and no TVs and their menu is all meatballs. Pick your ball (traditional ground beef, barbecue pork, spicy chicken, vegetarian, or the day's specialty ball), pick your sauce (marinara, parmesan cream, buffalo, roasted red pepper, or pesto), and then pick your side (pasta, cole slaw, fresh vegetables, cream spinach, or deep fried mashed potato balls), and then NOM NOM NOM.
3/31 hot roast beef sandwich
4/04 Five Guys (fundraiser for the American Diabetes Association): double cheeseburger with lettuce, onion, relish, ketchup and mustard, and ALL THE FRIES

Alas, alack, the season of gloriousness is over and I must set all this aside for yet another year. Oh, ethics, why art thou so cruel?