Thursday, November 4, 2010

you know it's a party when...

There are parts of my college years (fall of 1997 to spring of 2001) which I recall with great nostalgia and fondness. And yes, there are parts at which I roll my eyes and parts that are marred by violent retching and parts that are grey and fuzzy all the way through. But never mind that.
One of the fond nostalgic parts was the "you know it's a party when" list, scrawled across some sort of beer poster, I think. It contained such gems as "Hans wears a sombrero" and something about beer-case-helmet-jousting. I'm sure there is a photograph of it somewhere, but we'll have to make do without.

Upon graduation and my eventual entrance into the wild world of homeowners, it occurred to me that I ought to start my own list. And so I did. And so here it is -a work in progress, of course.

You Know It's A Party When...
1. You have to squeegee the garage floor.
2. Someone falls out of the pool (or doesn't make it in).
3. There's a midnight beer run.
4. Someone breaks a drumstick.
5. You can't even look at the Tequila bottle the next day.
6. Chicks. Get. Naked.
7. Something or someone gets humped by The Chris.
8. Someone is carried up the stairs.
9. You wake up in bed without your pants, and have no memory of how you got that way.
10. There is photographic evidence of your absurdities, and you never saw a camera.
11. You don't remember where that bruise came from.
12. There's nothing but ping pong balls and shot glasses in the dishwasher.
13. You wake up half naked on the living room floor next to the recycling bucket.
14. Someone is banging on the ceiling, yelling "wake up, mother fucker!!"
15. You're so passed-out drunk that someone can put weights on you without being noticed.
16. It's Cuban, B.
17. Somebody says, "I don't even know what to say."
18. Sara Lovell points and laughs.
19. The Chris asks how one gets hit in the head with a ladder golf golf ball.
20. Someone gets hit in the head with a ladder golf golf ball.
21. We have to make a "no fireworks anymore, dude" rule. Again.
22. The only clean spot anywhere is the sink.
23. The bathroom door is locked, and someone is passed out inside.
24. Someone has to be told, "one hand on the counter; one hand on your cock."
25. Amanda is floppy.
26. Yoga happens.
27. Splits happen.
28. Amanda audibly shatters another shot glass, and then asks if it's broken.
29. Someone is TOO drunk to play Asshole.
30. You have no idea how the cake got melted.

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