why I never...

I often end up in a conversation which involves me saying, "oh, I never (...) growing up" and people look at me like my brain is crawling out of my ears.

I'm not looking for pity or pretending deprivation, I merely present this list as a statement of fact.

Why, I never...
1. read comic books (until Sarah Smart brought me back a couple from ComiCon 2010)
2. played video games (until college, where I played Mortal Kombat and Crash Bandicoot a handful of times, and that was it)
3. drank soda
4. made Christmas cookies (until last year)
5. watched MTV
6. watched cartoons
7. had candy other than at Halloween and even then only for a day or so, even if I won it in a contest
8. had chocolate of any sort (at least until I was three and my grandmother committed The Chocolate Felony)
9. had any topping on my pizza other than cheese and for the most part, still don't
10. had any kind of dressing on my salad until I was, what, 25?
11. had ketchup on anything except McDonald's cheeseburgers -and still don't
12. had mustard on anything, until I went to college and had to smother the food with something
13. knew there were football teams not named the Cowboys (until I was six or so)
14. fantasized about what my wedding would be like
15. wanted babies -except for a three-day period my senior year of high school
16. was a bridesmaid, and still my only in-wedding experience has been as a flower girl in my uncle's wedding when I was eight or so
17. watched an episode of "Sex in the City"
18. saw any Rocky or Godfather movie
19. had a Philly cheesesteak
20. had a Garbage Plate (heresy, I know) **EDIT: First official plate consumption (half plate grilled cheese, mac salad, fries from Martino's) occurred 9/11/2010!!**
21. drank coffee
22. ate a fruit roll-up
23.

FURTHER BULLETINS AS EVENTS WARRANT