Friday, December 3, 2010

Don't care.

Dear men who act inappropriately toward women (and anyone who makes light of their inappropriateness with an attempt at victim-blaming):

I don't care if a girl walks past you in a mini-skirt. I don't care if you can practically see her aureoles above her tank top. I don't care if she's naked. I don't care if she bills herself as the sexiest newscaster on television and wears tight pants. I don't care if you find her passed out in your bed half-dressed. YOU ARE STILL A GROWNUP and you STILL HAVE TO ACT LIKE A GROWNUP.

Everyone, stop making excuses for men acting like children! Worse than children. Even children know better than to yell obscene and uncomfortable things at strangers. Even children know to keep their hands to themselves.

I realize that women in questionable or unsafe situations ought to take care to ensure they are not dressed too provocatively, and should keep an eye on their surroundings at all times, should lock their car doors immediately, should not stop to give directions to strangers, should not smell "perfume" on proffered handkerchiefs... But why should SHE have to do all of these things? Why should she HAVE to? Why is it always the woman's responsibility? Why are we always judging what happens to women based on what they were wearing or how they were acting or what kind of underwear they chose that day or what kind of work they are in, when we should be asking, "why aren't men keeping their damn hands -and penises- to themselves?!"

I don't care if the stripper just spent ten minutes nakedly grinding away on your junk. I don't care if the pretty cashier smiled at you as she price checked your condoms and scented lube. I don't care if that woman's skirt blew up and you saw that she is wearing a thong. I don't care if that girl is drunk out of her mind and passed out right after you got to her room. You are still a grown-ass man and you are required to act like one. Stop saying things you wouldn't want people to say to your sister or mother or niece, and unless she actually says YES, assume the answer is NO.

- Unless she is literally asking for it, in words, she is not "asking for it."
- Yes means yes, no means no, and silence means no, too. Silence (passed-out or otherwise) is not implied consent.
- Stop being a childish asshole and behave like the grownup you are. You know damn well what's appropriate and acceptable, so do those things and not the first thing that comes into your reptilian brain.


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