this week in doomed (3/18)

Doomed. Doomed doomed doomed.
Japan? Doomed.
Libya? Doomed.
Wisconsin? Doomed.

The recent earthquake in Japan actually changed the earth's rotation. It moved the Japanese coastline eight feet (cue TMBG "Science" song). The tsunami swamped nuclear power plants and they are creeping closer to meltdown every day. The country is basically melting and drowning and also on fire. Oh, AND the homeopaths are cashing in on the disaster by offering worthless scams. Never fear, water's here!! Hooray.


THE LIBYANS are all fighting each other and trying to get their whackjob leader to step down and instead of realizing that he's in trouble and his people hate him, he rambles meaninglessly while carrying a parasol. Check the internoodlez if you don't believe me.

Wisconsin... No longer just for cheese and Packers. Nope, now it's for union-busting and teacher-firing. Because the way to fix an economy that's been sucked dry by banker bonuses and corporate tax cuts is to sacrifice kid's education and public employee benefits. Go, big business!! Again, check the internoodlez if you don't believe me. You'd have to be blind and deaf (or watching Fox News, which amounts to the same thing) to not know what's going on.

We're all still doomed, but at least we can laugh while we cry. "A legislative Schrodinger’s cat killed by the quantum mechanics of the legislative process"? What? Nice. Thanks Rep. Markey.

Also, GIVE. Give to help Japan.

Basketball is not interesting to me, but helping fund vaccine initiatives is.
Made up religious bullshit that I might be convinced to support: all hail St. Urho!! This is especially spectacular since I've always been a little weirded out by St. Patrick's Day because of the whole Catholics-driving-the-pagans-out-of-Ireland thing, but I literally just found out, ON St. Urho's Day, that I am in fact about an eighth Finnish!! Weeeee!!!

The moon is cool. The back side of the moon is cool, too. But it didn't cause the freaking earthquake. "We’re not making it any better by panicking over something we know isn’t real."

Also cool, Preserve's recycling program for number five plastics: Gimme 5.

At least we have Nick Frost and Simon Pegg re-enacting Star Wars.

Also, Monday was Pi Day. Mmmmm, Pi.

Today is St. Patrick's Day. I'm of two minds about it. One mind says I like to drink. The other mind objects to the Catholic subjugation and expulsion of everything different. Maybe I should be wearing purple. You know, for St. Urho. Hey, did you guys know I'm an 8th Finnish?